Dear Mom

Dear Mom,
I want so bad that relationship
where we get out nails done together,
where we share everything.
I wanted so bad
to travel
And couldn’t stand the guilt
that you couldn’t go
because of me –
I so regret my actions,
for that may have been our last chance
to have a real family vacation
full of wonderful memories.
I know its my fault
that the family doesn’t get along
as well as it could
and hate myself
every time I hear you and Dad bicker.
I hate
when my brothers are affected by me
and when I see Dad’s disappointment.
Even worse,
though,
above all,
it kills me to see you suffer,
to see you’re remorse,
pain
and anger.
When you cry,
I hate myself
more than ever
and can’t forgive myself
for letting you suffer like that.

I’m sorry about the way I am.
Just listen to what I have to say,
but I know you have no reason to forgive me
and accept my apology or reasoning.

Sorry,
Your Daughter